Working it

After three weeks off, where I got to do so many things I've been really wanted to do for a long time, I had to go back to work to Shawshank. I guess when you start calling your job shawshank, it is time to retire and do what you really wanna do. But it is not easy. Hell no.
I always think and analyze ( surprisingly!) about people that are making a living doing what they love and it irks me when they still get to whine and complain about not being satisfied. People take too many things for granted, including the gift of dedicating your life to do what you love.
I know so many talented people that should be doing something else, the thing they were really born to do, the talent that came engraved in their adn. Singing, acting, cooking, teaching, etc.... that unfortunately and for external circumstances are obligated to work on something that has nothing to do with their intellectual vision, passion, whatever you wanna call it, to survive and be able to get by in order to get to where they wanna be. I consider myself one.
The challenge is not small. While trying to make a living, paying for bills, the ones that are parents, caring for our offsprings, dealing with the everyday life in general, time goes by right before our eyes and so are our dreams of becoming ourselves, the real ourselves and it is discouraging, even though i am really trying not to sound negative.
I see the last 10 years of my life like kind of an intellectual blur. I did things, yes, I did. I became a nurse, i became a mom, a wife, and ex wife, ha! I became less selfish, and i lost interest in material things, because as I've had them, I've also lost them. I guess I just became older. 10 years older, 10 years gone, like Led Zepellin sings so beautifully.

The positive thing is that one day, we do wake up from the blur and get all voccacionally "red bulled" and start doing all the things we should have done or we couldn't done for lack of means, time, whatever in as little as days or weeks and we start working it, in baby steps.
This week has been very interesting. Even though 'shawshank' it's still there, I've proudly managed to juggle the rest of the thousand things I wanna change in my mind and life and I feel great.
I've sent some of my art work to some schools to be reviewed for a scholarship and sending applications for admission and I have been called back to be considered. Just to be called back makes it all worth it.
I am a low maintenance chick, which makes me be happy with little. little by little.