It may be the new year, all the silly resolutions we make as part of starting a new page in our lives, all the dreams and things that seem possible just because another year has been added to the millenium. It is hope.
But hope is overwhelming in some strange way, at least in my opinion and experience.
We set goals, make plans, come up with ideas, etc... because we really believe they'll happen no matter what. To my ADD ridden mind it works in a way that I have so many ideas and plans that start as literally, genius master plans of power over the world. They are perfect, they work, they are the best thing that'll happen to mankind, just because they came out of my over productive mind. I friggin' rock.
The first, I'd say, three days are the honeymoon of idea. I love it, I wanna work on it over and over again ( I did compare this to a honeymoon) and I'd even marry my idea and myself for creating it. It's all picture perfect.
Then, it comes the go back to the real world stage ( which would be equivalent to coming back from your honeymoon in Fiji to work).
Idea, goal, plan, whatevs, needs to be developed and hardly worked, but in the meantime, there's a thousand other things I need to juggle along in order to make this work. It is harder than i thought, but slowly and somewhat patiently, I'd find a way to start the machine.
Next, just to compare, comes the 7 year itch. I love my idea, but it is becoming so overwhelming that I don't really know if i wanna keep working on it. It has become monotonous just for being thought so much and I feel insecure if I'd be able to keep going with it.
Truth is I've never been sure if I have really given my best to make it happen, but all of my plans and blueprints were conceived in a time where I wasn't sure if I was capable or smart enough to execute them.
Now, I am living a different time. A time, era, and world I HAD to create in my head, yes, when the new year started, where I can beat all the mean boyfriends, like the Scott Pilgrim movie, just to keep the girl.
My girl is my plan and with that I double mean it. Yes, there'll be obstacles, and even if it sounds cheesy, it is only up to me to kick them in the head.
We overwhelm ourselves for not being able to get "there" but now that I analyze it, it is only because we don't do EVERYTHING possible and we complain, whine and feel sorry for ourselves in the process.
I do it all the time. In the last week i think I've read at least three emails from very capable and brilliant people feeling sorry for themselves, but hey, they're still wasting time on facebook, or watching football, rotting in depression because life is not happening. I do the same. We just need to realize that everything begins taking baby steps and saying abc's. Stop being so impatient and give our goals time, and while time goes by, we go by doing something, not waiting for it to happen.
This year, I've started with baby steps and abc's. I had to reset everything that happened and went wrong and not worked enough in the past in order to make things easier and not so overwhelming.
I think when a plan or idea, either it is creative, or science related, whatever, comes to us, it is because it was meant to stick with us. It is like a little embryo that implants itself under our skin and starts growing as we take care of it. They'll be times where it'll become so big that we'll need to get it out of our system and raise it because it came from the deepest our minds desires. We just have to get over the morning sickness....
No comments:
Post a Comment